1. Love God.
Your first love should be your love for God. Let your family see you fall, stay, and grow in love with Jesus.
‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:37-39)
- Love Your Wife.
Lust and infatuation are not real love. Real love is more than a feeling. It is a decision and commitment. Real love takes work to develop and grow. Go on dates with your spouse.
Be romantic. Let yourself fall in love with her all over again.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)
- Love your family.
Spend quality time with your family. Be available. Eat dinner together. Share stories, play games, go on vacations together. Take your children out on dates. Teach them what to look for in a man. Teach them how a man should treat a woman.
- Work. Work Hard.
God created men to work. Men, you are supposed to be the provider. Get off the couch. Turn off the TV. Quit the online games. Go to work.
There is no problem with your woman working, but you should do your part. It’s not about the job you have, or the salary, it is all about you having the discipline to hold down a gainful employment. Your family is relying on you.
1 Timothy 5:8 says, “If a man fails to provide for his household, he is worse than a pagan.”
- Lead. Lead By Example.
Your children are watching you. In fact, whether you want it or not, you are influencing them. Your influence could be positive or negative. Use your influence for the good. You are the spiritual leader of your home. Lead your family to church. Lead your family in prayer.
Let your family see you pray, preach, praise God. Be the pastor and mentor to your children. Teach and disciple your children.
- Let your guard down, emotionally, that is.
Men, it is OK to express your feelings. Life is not about proving our manhood by shutting down our emotions. Many wives and children cannot wait to hear you say these heartfelt words: “I Love You, Thank you, I am sorry, or excuse me.” Swallow your pride, and express your feelings. Talk with your family about deep issues. Do not just be a goofball. You are the head of the house.
- Watch Your Words.
Do you know your words have power? Do you know what you say can build up or destroy your family? Watch what you say to your wife and children. Be very careful what you say when you are angry. There is nothing cool about cussing. There is nothing good about gossip. There is nothing respectful about sarcasm. Instead, learn to encourage and cheer others on. Bless not curse. Build up your children, commend your wife. Be a voice that brings refreshment and hope to your family.
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21
- Be Real.
Children can smell fakeness a mile away. If you want your children to trust you, and to listen to your message, be authentic. Make sure you are the same wherever you are. Your words and deeds must match up. “Do as what I say, not as what I do,” does not work. Be an honest, reliable and dependable person. Do not over promise and then under deliver. Be a man of integrity.
“But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’” – Matthew 5:37
- Be faithful.
Be a one woman man. Do not let your eyes wander. Keep Your Heart Pure. Some men do not have an affair, but they are struggling with pornography. My heart breaks when I read about pornography’s hold on so many men in our society. Pornography’s strength is in its easy access , and secrecy. It appears harmless. Do not be fooled. The devil is a liar. Pornography is very harmful. It enslaves you; it belittles women; it destroys marriages; it weakens the men of God. It leads to a horrible addiction. Think of what Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)
- Respect your wife.
Your wife is not a punching bag. If you want to hit someone, go and sign up for boxing at a local club. Go and compete in the UFC. Go get beat up by other men your own size. No matter how angry you become, never hit a woman.
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.” (Eph. 5:28-29)
- Be accountable to someone.
Many men do not have close friends. Many men avoid sharing their struggles with other men. Let’s admit it, the men code is against the notion of men spilling their guts in front of other men. It is thought of as weak to break down before other men, and then hold hands while singing “Kumbaya.”
Men, you need to have deep friendships. You need other men to challenge you spiritually. You need to be accountable to someone who checks up on your spiritual progress. To whom are you accountable?
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17